Put her back in nappies or pullups or maybe buy cheap knickers that you can throw away to take some of the stress out of the situation and ignore the nursery/childminders attitude about it, all there doing atm is putting pressure on you to resolve a problem that will resolve itself in good time...and leading you to use methods out of desperation that will only enforce the problem. Stick to a reward chart and be ok with it if she's not successful. Ask the others to do the same and if they won't support you consider not sending her for a while. She's only 3 remember and whether she's doing it by accident or intentionally getting cross with her will only make it worse.
The stress during the day may be whats affecting her sleep pattern, she's got you, nursery and her childminder upset with her, all her main carers, that would keep the average adult up worrying, so if you can fix that maybe the sleep will follow suit.
Thank you for your reply. Doctor suggested putting her back into nappies or pull ips but i felt it would be a step backwards. Childminder has also refused to take her if i put her back in nappies!!!
If i could not send her then i wouldn't but i cannot get a decent amount of time off work. I have got a new reward chart and she is allowed to choose her treat if she manages all week with out messing herself so fingers crossed.
Has anything happened at nursery or something which may have triggered this behaviour off? Also compare whats she is like in different environments. But most of all carry on with the naughty step and reward charts as it will take time, its not going to change overnight. Persevere it will get better with time and patience.