If you go to your family physicain he/she can refer you to a counselor (that works with you insurance) and then they can talk to her, with or without you, and find out if she really feels that way or if she is pulling at heart strings to make you feel bad about asking her to do things. Kids can be so manipulative and heart breaking, and you being her mother she knows all of you weak spots. If she really feels that she wants to die they will be able to give her meds to help her, and you. They'll be able to tell you either way and then you'll know how to handle her outbursts accordingly. If you have a pastor they could probably help you out too. A lot of pastors do counseling. Good luck.