Hi ... I have two boys. One 4 and the other 23 months. My little one is mean too. I've noticed that some of the things I see him do to other kids his older brother has done to him. I'm trying to figure out how to make it stop also. Have you bitten her back? Hurt her the way she hurt the baby? I know it sounds harsh but I bit my oldest back when he was almost 3 and he never bit again. I've hit him back when he's hit and I've taken him away from the group so he's alone and gets no attention (good or bad) for his actions. I know a lot of times little ones are mean because they're jealous. She might feel threatened by the baby if you make over how cute her or she is. I hope I can help some. I'm sorry for all you're going through. It's awful I know :) Good luck! Let me know if you learn anything helpful.
Bless you thanks for the advice. I think you could be right as everyone always makes a fuss of the baby and maybe its just jealousy as she is used to being the baby herself. Just so embarrasing...... will try your advive. Thanks again [:)