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9yr old causing havoc!

Its nearly 6 years now and my child is pushing me over the edge-not so much in the house as-yes she is cheeky but not aggresive or violent as the skool say-She is very intelligent and can communicate-but violent and cant behave appropriately in skool-they have removed her and she is in a unit for special needs kids-i.e 1-1 behaviour, but if there is nothing wrong with her why is she there?? If there is something wrong why not diagnos her, I have went to docs and got her referred to a psychologist and still waiting!!!! Surely this has to get sorted out-any advice from anyone would be helpful. anything?
And no I am not a single parent me and her dad been together 16 years and would never have another kid, We have tried smacked bum, grounding her, taking away favourite toys-star charts-when good, ignoring the behavior-but its hard cause as I said not like that in house!!!!

Re: 9yr old causing havoc!

Is there a problem at home with your husband or other family members ? Some times tension / domestic violence at home makes kids aggressive. Does your child watch movies/ shows on tv which is violent ? What kind of friends does your child have?

something is wrong somewhere........

If everything is fine then it is time to meet a docter.......soon

Re: Re: 9yr old causing havoc!

No there is no problems at home-me and her father have been together 16 years. And even if we are angry at one another we do not let it show in front of her.
And no we both-i.e. parents come from good backgrounds and well supportive family.
TV she watches things like Hannah Montana and most of the kid films like babe and so on-I know wots in her bedroom-she will occasionally watch soaps like eastenders.
And her friends-well its got to point where I dont let her play with them as they bully her or make fun of her.


And as for doctors-I've been pushig for last 5 years!!!

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Replying to:

Is there a problem at home with your husband or other family members ? Some times tension / domestic violence at home makes kids aggressive. Does your child watch movies/ shows on tv which is violent ? What kind of friends does your child have?

something is wrong somewhere........

If everything is fine then it is time to meet a docter.......soon

Re: 9yr old causing havoc!

hi there
i have the same problem with my 6 year old,at school she really plays up,gets aggressive,refuses to work ect...
she plays alittle bit up at home ,but no way as much as she does at school.
nearly all the time im shocked from what i hear from her teachers.
shes been refured ,but apparently this can take up to a year!!!

Re: Re: 9yr old causing havoc!

Hello Gemma-Am glad there is someone else out there-Its hurtful isn't it when ppl think its the parents fault-when u prob know deep down something wrong.
I've had so much problems with her it is unreal and there is no probs at home or with family members and there has been no change in circumstances or anything traumatic happening either-nearly 5/6 years I've been dealing with it.
Yeah been told that also-but with mistakes and so on in the system-she never got referred so still waiting!!! Let me know how things go-Just keep telling urself it isn't ur fault-as I have been told it can take some children longer than others 2 settle, If u dont mind me asking wot kind of things she doing??
Mine wouldn't sit down, then starting hitting the teachers and other kids then it was swearing-then it was running out of the skool-I've had it all, lol

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Replying to:

hi there
i have the same problem with my 6 year old,at school she really plays up,gets aggressive,refuses to work ect...
she plays alittle bit up at home ,but no way as much as she does at school.
nearly all the time im shocked from what i hear from her teachers.
shes been refured ,but apparently this can take up to a year!!!

Re: 9yr old causing havoc!

Hi Er and Gemma,
If your children are behaving in this way, the school needs to discover strategies that work with your child. It is their responsibility. I would make appointments to discuss your child's behaviour and ask what strategies are being used. You may be able to hurry any referrals up by being on their case more.
As parents we are always concerned about making a fuss, but sometimes if we don't keep on the ball, our children suffer. Be very nice , ask the school if there is any way you can help. Ask if there is anything you can do to speed up any referral etc.
At every eeting, make a note of what the school said they would do. Ask for a time scale and set a meeting to review the situation. If someone comes in the observe your child as part of the referral, ensure you get a follow up meeting.
I say all of this out of experience. I taught for 15 years and I have a child with a specific learning difficult. I wasn't always given feedback at first after meetings and teachers said they'd do something for my son and i was too polite to check up that it actually happened. I learned I had to say 'Wen do you think you'll be able to introduce this? Ok... Then maybe it's be good to have another meeting, say, in a month, to review the situation?' I have a good relationship with his school now, but I still have meetings with the special needs co-ordinator to pre-empt any problems before they become major ones.

Good luck.... keeping on pressing for your child. A parent does often know if there is an underlying problem. School told me at the time that it would be quicker if I referred my son via the GP as at that time, it was quicker. It was.... I took documentation from the school and got a very quick referral. My son is now 12 and doing ok. Things are very different now. It won't necessarily always be this way.

Re: Re: 9yr old causing havoc!

Hi Nicki, Yes I blame the skools-As the 1st skool she started in all they did was send her home 2 me every single day!!! for 3 months in a row-I ended up losing my temper and said I'd goto papers and say how they weren't helping my child-education board was called in and it was discussed moving her-so they did and then tried putting her back in a nursery-Which just wasn't working either-then then they moved her again and skool closed down and now moved again and she still in this skool, My child has continous meetings-every 3 months-they tried her back in Mainstream in August there with hardly any support-she coped for 1st month and then it fell apart-There is no problems with her learning skill as I have just had parents nite and they said she is quite advanced compared to some of the other kids-whether that because she had 1-1 for past 2 years I have no idea.
Also this is a new mainstream teacher-ever his 1st year of being a teacher and a new special needs teacher-and at last meeting (last week)-I feel they are expressing opinions-when they hardly know her.
Also this educational psychologist-has never assessed my child-but she comes 2 meetings which I have no idea wot for!! I feel like she assessing her through the opinions of these teachers which is wrong-They think she just defiant and can control her behaviour-But I dont think so.
There plan is wait till October break over and then increase time back in mainstream and then do same thing again-But if she hasn't handled it then she prob no gonna handle again