my partner and i have a 9 year old son. i'm quite new on the scene, have been doing active parenting in the last year and a half i've been living with them.

in the last 6 months or so he has gone from being quite independant and mature to being totally needy and unable to entertain himself or be without us. he's constantly in need of attention and praise and lately in the last few months has been developing phobias. he's now (from being frightened of nothing) seemingly terrified of flies and bugs in general. when there is a bug, he runs to his mum making an awful shreiking noise and gets really cuddled and given masses of attention and anything else that is happening at the time has to stop in order to get this bug out or away. he then stays very close for about 15 minutes, referring back to it and wanting constant attention.

in addition to this he had a history of bedtime issues. he would get up two or three times at hour intervals being 'hungry' or bored, meaning that it would often be well after 11 before sleeping. after a while of this we introduced strict bedtime rules and last eating times and warnings and such for getting out of bed after bed time. now however instead of saying that he is hungry, he gets out of bed at the same kind of intervals saying that he's sad over things such as 'being bad at guitar' or thinking about a pet that died some 8 months before. my partners reaction to this is one of massive emotional input. up to an hour of being in bed with him to 'calm him down' and such.

also he often wakes up in the night and climbs into our bed saying that he had a funny dream and he's allowed to stay the rest of the night. this is in addition to the fact that if he wakes in the morning at any time before us he will come into our bed until it's time to get up.

i don't want to withdraw emotional affection from him or tell him to 'get a grip' or anything like that but i was wondering whether i'm totally crazy in thinking that being too much of a positive reward for such (negative?) behaviours is unhealthy and fostering neediness. his behaviours of this nature have been getting more prominant over the last couple of months but my partner isn't receptive to my opinions.

help me someone and let me know what you think and let me know of any advice.

It sounds to me that he is crying out for attention, Is he used to having his mum all to himself? Sounds to me that he is getting the wrong kind of attention.
The best advice would be not to rise to his behaviour, set out some ground rules, like set bedtime routine etc. Then set a time in the day when he can have sometime on his own with his mum alone, then time with you altogether.
Hope this helps you, it will get better with time though.