Practical Parenting Advice Online Parenting Course

Return to Website

Parenting Message Board

Please report abuses to AndyGill@practicalparent.org.uk

Parenting Message Board
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
View Entire Thread
Re: my 12 year son syas he has no friends and they are mean to him at school

Hi there,

I really feel for your son. I was teased and picked on the entire time at senior school. After about a year of trying to fit in I ended up spending my breaks and lunchtimes in the library where after about 18 months I met someone else there who was in the same position. We became friends and that helped a bit.

But I begged my Mum to send me to a different school but because she worked it wasn't convenient and who knows if it would have helped? How does your son feel about moving schools? Perhaps you could have a look around another school with him to see how he feels.

I left at 16 after my GCSE's and went to a college 15 miles away where I eventually found some "real" friends who I am still friends with 16 years later!

Good luck, I hope he can get through this. It certainly made me stronger.

Martine

Re: Re: my 12 year son syas he has no friends and they are mean to him at school

thank you for your response and I am so sorry you had to endure all that also, it is comforting to know that maybe some day he will have a friend/friends. He struggles so now and we did change schools and it is already starting there, what helped you to get through the tough times, we try to do alot together as a family and at home he acts really happy. His self esteem is so low from the teasing that I am trying to think of something that will boost he up some. Any suggestions. Thanks again for the feedback it helps so much. Cindy

Re: Re: Re: my 12 year son syas he has no friends and they are mean to him at school

Hi, I hope your son settles better in his new school and I wish you both luck. I think it is just as hard for a parent, if not worse? My Mum was like a brick for me she was my best friend - and still is. She was always there for me and would be a shoulder to cry on. We never really did much family stuff as my Father was an alcoholic so our family outings would be to the pub!

I used to go dancing at the weekend and had my own friends at dancing. I also went ice skating and roller skating after school where I had out of school friends - I found it easier to make friends out of school. Perhaps your son could do some out of school activities. My son who is also very shy goes to a drama club on a saturday which helps build confidence and he has made some good friends there. Or maybe he could go to a music club. I played the clarinet and was in the school band where at rehersals I would be accepted (just not in the playground!)

Thinking back now and watching my son at school I don't know whether I was teased because I didn't have the latest hair style or the new Nike trainers, bomber jacket etc? which is what I thought at the time But my Mum couldn't afford to buy me the latest "in" stuff, or whether it was just me? and something I had to go through to become a better adult?

Whatever the reason I think just being there for him and keeping him happy out of school is pretty much all you can do as a parent.