Practical Parenting Advice Online Parenting Course

Return to Website

Parenting Message Board

Please report abuses to

Parenting Message Board
Start a New Topic 
Please advise on how upheaval affects 7yr olds

My girlfriend of 4+years has a daughter 7.5yrs old. She sees her dad every other weekend and has a good relationship with him. My girlfriend has a history of mental problems due to abuse as a child. As a consequence she has had several stays in hospital due to self harming in the main. Up until a year ago she had a nanny without whom she would not have been able to have her daughter live at home with her. I must stress that the little girl seems to be very well adjusted and happy. She does seem to accept that her mummy goes into hospital in a kind of matter of fact way however.
I have slowly developed a very close and loving relationship with the little girl as i was firstly conscious of the fact her dad was number one and also because her mum and i had frequent fall outs. The fall outs were a direct result of the trauma that she was going through as the childhood abuse began to surface and no one knowing why, as she kept the whole thing bottled up..i now understand why.
She is now embarking on a course of therapy which is opening up the whole episode and so is a very difficult person to be with.
To the point. We have once again had a major fall out but this time she has told her daughter she will never be with me and she will not allow her to see me again. I am gutted but at the end of the day i don't wish to cause problems for her daughter even though i miss her terribly. Only a week ago she was pleading with me to go on holiday with them even though i couldn't due to work commitments.
Is this up and down, toing and froing likely to affect her daughter? I know she sees me as a big part of her life as she is very affectionate to me. Will she be confused by her mothers actions?
Basically, what should i do? Should i ask to see her or should i just disappear into oblivion?

I welcome any comments or questions.

Re: Please advise on how upheaval affects 7yr olds

strikes me there is nothing you can do. im sorry, i know thats not what you want to hear.