I have a bright, chatty confident 4 year old boy who has two older brothers (aged 8 and 10). He has attended his pre-school since the age of 3 and is due to go to our village school in September. He has visited this school and seems happy with the impending move as he is familiar with it and going with a little friend . However, over the last two terms he has displayed aggressive behaviour towards other children and has been increasingly naughty. He has also been defiant to teachers when they tell him off and often refuses to admit to being naughty and won’t apologise to them or other children. He also has a stroppy attitude when asked to help clear up. I have talked to him about his behaviour and we do have an incentive strategy - a marble jar in which we put marbles when he’s been good and take out when he’s done something naughty. When the jar is full, he goes to Woolworths for a toy as a treat. I spoke to him last night about what pre-school is telling me and he seems to understand what he is doing and yet only this morning I’ve been told that he’s hit another child with his fists. I’m worried that he’s going to get himself a reputation as a troublesome child and that this will stay with him in his new school. He is such a loving and apparently chatty boy and doesn’t cause any problems at his old child minder’s who he still goes to on the odd occasion.
I understand why you are worrying.... but don't. There are several reasons why his behaviour may have got worse.... He may be getting bored. He is probably feeling very confident as one of the older children (big fish in little pool syndrome). His behaviour may be completely different when he goes to school as it a very differnt environment. I also think youngest children are sometimes much , much more street-wise than their first born peers and are used to standing their ground. My youngest was very difficult... until she went to school. She discovered the boundaries at school and has been a model pupil at school apparently. I used to worry that she would be branded a bully... but she pushed the boundaries at school for about 2weeks.... discovered where they are and has been perfectly behaved in school.
Also... at 4, he probably won't remember the next day when he wants to push /hit someone the discussion you had the night before. I imagine there is only a short period of time at pre-school left. Ask the supervisors to deal with him ... firmly and immediately.... He will learn. I sounds like you are doing all the right things.
