thankyou both for your comments and advice. My gut instinct is that I am being fair and therefore that I should have confidence in my parenting skills ! But you know what it is like when someone criticises you. It could be the testosterone surge but my son has always been physical and it has been a constant and ongoing challenge to get him to stop and think rather than just being reactive. I don't think it is adhd as my friend's son has that and the symptoms appear quite different. Also, my friend has calmed down about the whole matter. Thank heavens !