Ask your freind why she is your freind if she doesn't like your parenting style. Point out to her that questioning your parenting qualities is bait for him to act up more and if she can't support you then maybe time to find a new freind that can.

Speak to his teachers about the comments he's getting from other adults (who should know better than to put a child down) and kids (who will simply copy what the other kids and their parents say), from experience with my own children I know that a label of being the naughty kid can do a lot of damage to self esteem and make the situation worse (although if you do find its more than a phase you will get very good at one liners that politely shut them up).

Plus what Nicki said especially the bit about 'its your son that matters'

thankyou both for your comments and advice. My gut instinct is that I am being fair and therefore that I should have confidence in my parenting skills ! But you know what it is like when someone criticises you. It could be the testosterone surge but my son has always been physical and it has been a constant and ongoing challenge to get him to stop and think rather than just being reactive. I don't think it is adhd as my friend's son has that and the symptoms appear quite different. Also, my friend has calmed down about the whole matter. Thank heavens !