Hello, I am 26 going out with a girl who has a 5 year old child. The childs father takes her on a wednesday night and a saturday night. He lives in a bad area of where we come from. So when she stays with him he has to stay at his mother and fathers. consequently when she returns she is filled up with sweets junk and everything else. hyper. my girlfriend tries to settle her down with regular meals hiomework etc but it is all back to square one when she gets back. Because she is spoilt she regular talks back to us. she always wants to stay with her father. She says she is moving in with him because she says- when she gets older she can stay where she wants? where did she hear that from i wonder? It is starting to really upset my girlfriend as she feels like she is losing her for being the good parent? what to do?
hi i have seen this happen within the family same situation, when they go in the short period of time they get spoilt, the other party thinking they are doing right by buying the love in material things ect instead of just giving love and time,in our family situation this went on for number of years now the child is older they just see the other parent as a money box and not for what they should as in a loving parent.if your child lived 24 hours a day with the other side it would become a different story,maybe when they are playing up even though it would be hard agree with the child and get a suitcase to start packing, the sooner they think they cant get around you by their outburst the sooner they start to learn sweets and material are not always the best in life.i dont know how your relationship is with your ex but have you tried to explain how she is when she returns and asking could they try a plan to workon with you to help her well being,if their not willing to listen it just might be them that makes a rod for their own back in the end not you,ecause as kids get older they start wanting more and they will know who to nag ,meaning the one thats never said no,get them to ten and it wont be just small cheap items or sweets she will be asking for,stick to your guns you are both much stronger by giving her rules and putting up with the tantrams.good luck.
your girlfriend should really tell her ex that if she keeps geting spoilt as badly as this then his daughter will no longer be around him because he is actually turning her own daughter against her and its also making her a bit if a brat. I know a girl thats parents have split up on her birthday but know she is 9 and spend equal time with both her parents and this time is monday with her mum tuesday with her dad wednesday with her mumand so on. They are only aloud to spend the same amount of money on her a day i think its something like £10 on her a day and only two to three sweets a day which is quite good actually. So maybe your girlfriend should try something like that and you know what that little girl i was just speaking about is very pleased with what she gets.
yours sincerly
lilly
p.s i hope it works out well void(0);
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