thanx linda i think i know the reason he can't get on with his younger sister she is 3 and he says she gets all the attention his dad has in the past seamed to favour her and obviously she needs more attention as she's only 3 but know matter how we show love to him he just throws it back at us we take him out just the 3 of us so he gets time with us alone we make sure he gets time after she's in bed to spend time with us i will try to get that book who is the auther i will go to the library thanx lisa