I would take a slightly tougher line because i think you are right, sometimes there are jobs around the house that just have to be done. However, at 4 yrs old he should be entitled to two and half hours a day free childcare (my 4 yr old son goes to a school nursery) which would give you some respite. Also why not try involving him in some of the jobs you have to do.
My son likes to help with the cooking especially if there is cheese involved (not all of it makes it into the meal!) and i ask him to help tidy up his toys which normally gets done with minimum fuss.
4 years is a long time for a habit to form so you will probably need to take things slowly to help prevent the tantrums, maybe only change one thing at a time over the course of weeks rather than days.
Good luck!
