My son is 20 - I thought by now I'd have passed all the worrying milestones, but he left a good school at 16 with very poor qualifications (entirely through lack of effort on his part). He lost a highly contested place at college to train to be a plumber as nobody wanted an apprentice (part of the requirement for the place was to get a plumber to take him on). This affected his already low self-esteem but he got a job in a local bar / restaurant which he stuck at for 2 years. He has now resigned but is unmotivated to get another job. I can't keep reminding him to get out there and do something with his life as he simply does not listen. I have even offered to pay for him to go to college (now that he has passed the age of 18) in order that he can get some skills behind him, but his excuse is that he doesn't want to burden me financially. He's very idle. How do I shake him out of this? I've run out of ideas and feel very sad for him as he's letting life pass him by.