Hi Caroline,

I think I am going through the same so understand how you feel, I feel the same. My son will be 4 in August and has a problem with authority. He hates being told off by others (i.e. pre-school teachers) and gets very physical, biting, spitting etc. I have been doing some reading and around 4 boys have a testerone dump - a huge surge which makes them behave like cave men!
I am getting some support and help through the pre-school but it does sometimes seem that all I do is tell him off!

Thanks for replying - sorry you re having hassle too but also makes me feel better that I m not alone! Ours sons are practically the same age. I ll read up on the testosterone thing too! Pre school staff are helping too although sometimes it all just makes me feel like a failure. Never thought it would be this hard. Good luck and keep smiling.

My youngest is a very strong willed child....I don't have answers to your problem but I did learn that to survive you have to decide which battles to pick otherwise you will wear yourself out. Decide what's important to you and stick to your guns with that matter.....and the other things might not be so important.... just don't let other people get you down. My daughter refused to wear a coat etc when she was little and I decided getting her to stop biting her brother/ scratching him, pushing other children was more important to deal with. Other people criticised me as she was outside in winter without a coat... but hey? It was her who was cold. One day she walked to someone's house with no shoes.She refused. I had to decide whether to make everyone stay in, force her to put her shoes on or let her learn the hard way.
She is fine now (she's 9) but when she was 4 she wrote sex all the way up her arms, and I had to ignore it and get her pre-school leaders to ignore it too.... (none of the others could read!!!!!).
I survived by developing a thick skin and deciding what battles I needed to fight.
Now she is a very clever, able, talented, kind child who at school is the perfect child. I know she will probably be a nightmare teenager as I know she has the capacity to be really difficult but for now I'm enjoying the relative lull in the storm (she isn't perfect at home, but she is much better).

Good luck. Parenting a strong willed child is exceedingly difficult and other parents do not understand. My strong willed child was my 3rd and I didn't understand until I was blessed with this non-sleeping, very active child. However,I think she was partially like that as she is very clever. Now she does loads of extra curricular activities (7 hours gym a week, ballet, modern dance, violin and piano) and I think she needs that to keep her focused. I just couldn't provide that amount of stimulation when she was pre-school and I did massive of stuff with her... it just wasn't enough. She'd still bite her brother in the bath!!!!!
Sorry my reply is so long and rambling.

Thanks for taking the time to reply - totally agree that many other parents don t understand - I get some looks! Makes me feel like a failure but I am trying to develop a thicker skin. He is the child I was blessed with afterall and he has spirit! I try to focus on his good qualities and he appears to be very bright too - hope to channel him into sport or clubs of some sort. Light at the end of the tunnel and crossing fingers his little sister isn t so challenging!

hi
my son is 18 months old and i dont know what to do
he bites kicks and throw things at other children punches attacks hes in a nursery that is threatening to not to keep him cos his temper is so bad
iv tried punishin but its not workin
i need help!!!

After 3 girls I had a son, quite a shock to the system...the book Raising Boys by Steven Bidulph (sp?) helped me gain some insight into how they function and some good tips on how to cope with our little bundles of testorone. Recommend it to anyone with a son.

Sorry to hear how stressed you are. My boy started playing up at the same age - his 2nd birthday he hit every child and had to keep getting put to his room! The only thing i can say is remember how much you love him, focus on the good bits/enjoy them and deal with the unwanted behaviour the best you can. What else can us mums do? My health visitor has been really helpful too - maybe worth speaking to yours? Good luck.