I'm sure the exhaustion from not sleeping and all the trauma in your life is really dificult for you. Sometimes it's hard to think clearly or make things better when your life feels like a messy "blob". The first couple years of my daughter's life were really hard, she was clingy and would never sleep. People would tell me to walk out and let her cry at night but it was almost easier to stay with her until she went to sleep just to get it over with. In the long run though, it caused a lot of problems and lingered and lingered. Something I learned was to leave the room, if she cried, count for 15 seconds and then go in. Leave again, count for 15 seconds and then go in. The next night, I'd do the same but increase it to 30 seconds, then several minutes. Eventually she realized she wasn't going to get my imediate response and just got tired and fell asleep. I don't vividly remember doing it, my life was a blur at the time too! But I remember it's what worked! Just try it, you have nothing to lose! Good luck with your Divorse, sounds like you are doing the right thing for your family.
A trick that worked great for me with my daughter was to get a cushion (one that she was familiar with) and call it the sleepy cushion. I told my daughter that Mummy would sit on the sleepy cushion which I placed next to her cot until she went to sleep. The first night took about half an hour and I crept out. If she woke up I'd have to repeat it not looking at her and saying Mummy is on the sleepy cushion you go to sleep. After 3 days with it by her cot I moved it slightly away from the cot, then after another 3 days near the door, then another 3 days outside the room, down the hall and in my bedroom etc, it took about 2 weeks but now when she goes to bed and starts I just shout Mummy's on the sleepy cushion you go to sleep. Its tough going for the first few nights but in the long run it really worked for us.
Its so hard when they won't let you sleep. You have my sympathy.
