this is my first experience and i do have a temper so start shouting almost immediately if "my" kids dont do as i say.. for example: if i tell them something last night/yesterday and ask them it today and they forget i am like "i told you this yesterday"!! and or get angry if they make the same mistake all the time.. or with spellings, i tell him a word to learn and tell him the sound andt hen the next day he will mix up his letters and sound like if i tell him to spell "his" he will spell it as "hig" and i get angry and tell him how many times i have told him to think of the sounds before you write and that if he can hear "g" sound in "his" etc etc

I have tried being nice and saying i wont scream and shout as this is your first mistake but next time you will get put in your room or i will scold you but i dont think it is working..

But do you think i am being a bit too hard? i do regret shouting but i am not sure if i should just "ignore" when they forget or not!!

Yes, far too harsh. You will eventually critise them so much they will lack any confidence and they will make far more mistakes...if they even bother trying. Support there education but don't be there teacher. Some of us just aren't cut out to teach and are far better at other parts of parenting. Stick to what your good at and learn about the bits your not so hot on. If you want to improve spelling read to them lots. If you want them to get 10/10 in a spelling test put the words up so they see them often. However 10/10 in a spelling test for a child who doesn't find spelling easy is a sign of having learnt something parrot fashion not a sign of intelligence and won't resolve the problem of having difficulty with sounds.

Shouting is the biggest waste of time ever. The end result is kids you have no relationship with, who won't come to you with problems, who you don't have fun with, who lack confidence and who would rather spend there time with someone else.

Telling them there wonderful even if they can't do some things for toffee will result in the opposite.

Maybe some parenting classes would help and perhaps nows the time to look at why you have a temper and where you learnt to shout. Problems like that often stem from our own experiences and don't dissappear overnight.

thankyou so much.. i dont see how i could shout at him just because i was shouted at?

I dont want him getting 10/10 in spelling.. Like last week all week i mde him learn spellings of 5 words (he was going to be tested on in school on friday) and at home i asked him and he spelt all fine (with little hinting at one word) i even asked him to write it down and he wrote it all down but at school he only got 2/5 and i encouraged him and said its good but next time maybe get 3/5.

Its like he doesnt think for himself like going toilet he wouldnt go toilet unless i ask him! i have told him countless time to sound out the letters he can hear in a word but he just sometimes say letters he cant even hear sound of!

but yeah i realise that i have a problem and when they forget something i have said before it annoys me. but thats what i wanted to ask.. do children even remember things?

yes it can be that you shout because you were shouted at, sometimes i say the exact words my mother used to say and i realise as i'm saying it, hey this is my mother speaking, cause yes as children we take in every thing without realising, and then use it later on in life. if i were you i would encourage more reading for fun even books for younger children, and you can try to make a game too, it works wonders for my daughter she say a word and i spell it if i get it wrong(which sometimes i do on purpose) she'll correct me and have another go if i get it right it's my turn(try to begin with simple words) and sometimes we play it in the car or even while we'r doing something at home like washing the plates. well good luck sometimes i know it's not easy not shouting but i realise that when i stay calm i achieve much more