I love what Dr. Aldort says here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JooO_c3tBs4

And, I you sound like you want to understand your daughter rather than punish or stop her forcefully.
I had the same problems with one of my sons and when I found out what the reasons for his behavior, and why his reasons were valid and how to prevent the cause... I changed things and he became peacefu.

Aldort's book, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves,
teaches how to understand the reasons behind a child's behavior and how to remedy the problem kindly.