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Can't seem to connect with my 6 year old daughter?

My daughter is my second child, we have 3 children, a younger brother who is 15 months, and an older brother who is 7 years old. My first born has such a lovely character. He is thoughtful, bright, and gets involved at school, ie he does work well in class and has lots of mates. Kelly on the other hand, is completely the opposite. She's not as thoughtful, bright,does not show it, quiet in class, and has 1 good friend. Before our youngest arrived we lost a baby, I don't want to go in to details, but feel it has affected her, in that she won't talk about it. I was able to bond closely with my first born, but with kelly everybody took over holding and feeding kelly, I wasn't able to bond as well. She bonded better with her dad for the first two years, but even their not as close now. She seems to have the attitude that everything has got to be her way, or she says we don't love her, or she has a tantrum. She seems to be lying alot lately, and if she is given a present and doesn't like it she can't just say thankyou and be greatful, but lets you know that she don't like it and throws it down. We have tried to talk to her about things, but she clams up and says nothing. I can't really get on with her teachers, as they seem to be very dissmisive about the situation, and family are no good either. What advice can you give us, please. Thankyou Debbie

Re: Can't seem to connect with my 6 year old daughter?

It may be nothing but a phase, the things you mentioned dont seem to out of the ordinary. Just remember you are the adult and you have to come to her, she wont automaticly come to you with love and understanding if she isnt recieving it.

Some times as parents we get so offended at our childrens behavior and treat them as though they were of equal cognitive and behavioral skills as we are.Its so easy to feel like they are doing something to us...when thats not their goal at all, they really dont like to be in chaos.

Re: Can't seem to connect with my 6 year old daughter?

Hello Debbie

I hope you don’t mind me approaching you but I think I might be able to help. I work for ITV on a parenting programme whose aim is to offer advice to parents like yourself. It sounds like your little girl is experiencing some behaviour problems, which can be addressed.

Our programme follows a proven child behavioural course. It's not about shaming bad parents it’s about people who are essentially good parents but who are struggling with challenging behaviour. The unique thing about our series is that from the children’s point of view it’s very non-aggressive. This course isn’t for children – it’s for mums and dads to learn how handle difficult behaviour and ultimately stop it.

The first series of Driving Mum and dad Mad was received very well. In fact the Home Office funded a study into the effects of watching the programme and found 3/4 of parents in the study reported significant improvements in their child’s behaviour, their parenting and in their family life it’s a series we are very proud of.

If you are interested in finding out more about the programme do call me I’ll be happy to talk about the parenting course and how we plan to film the documentary with absolutely no pressure on you to take part. My direct work number is 020 7633 2801.

Best wishes, and again I do hope you don't mind me approaching you.