Practical Parenting Advice Online Parenting Course

Return to Website

Parenting Message Board

Please report abuses to

Parenting Message Board
Start a New Topic 
View Entire Thread
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You are mixing us up

you guys are all crazy. I live in the united states,and over here, it would be considered child abuse if you were changing a 14 year old girl in public. That is just wrong. As for the 10 year old boy changing his 6 year old sister willingly, it's not normal. Children regress when something happens to them. Have either of you parents considered that your child could have been molested?

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You are mixing us up

right...sorry, again its very easy to confuse a 14-16 year old in diapers with a 6 year old. My comment is still the same minus the comment about the 10 year old changing.

I agree...this is regression and is very often a sign of molestation (to the mom of the 6 year old).
As far as the teen goes....who may "occasionally" have an accident...but is finally out of diapers....common now

My daughter has stopped messing her knickers

As I was putting my daughter (the 6 year old, to those who are still confused) to bed on Wednesday, a day in which she had both messed and wet her knickers, she suddenly said to me 'Mummy, I'm not going to poo my knickers any more.' I gave her a hug and said I was pleased but in my mind I decided to wait and see if she was true to her word - and she has been. She has not messed her knickers since, nor has she wet herself. I officially declare that my daughter's knickers are now an accident free zone!!!!!

Thank you to everyone for their support. Best of luck to Jackie in helping her daughter to finally stop having accidents. I'm sorry some people have judged you harshly, Jackie.

Re: Re: Re: Re: You are mixing us up

I am an American. I am very proud of my country. Fiona, I take great offense to the slanderous comment that you have made about America. It is NOT standard practice for American children to wear diapers after the age of two or three. By your assuming that it is something that frequently happens in the States, you are showing your own ignorance. It is also not common practice for our children to smoke or take drugs, as you stated. I believe that you have responded as an angry, uniformed person with a terribly closed mind. I would never issue general insult about another country. Have you no respect for yourself or your own country? Just as you are wrong to issue generalities about an entire country based on you your own limited knowledge, it would be wrong of me to "assume" that all people in your country are ignorant, just because you have presented yourself in that manner.

As for the troubles the other mothers are having with their daughters, I wish you the very best. This must be very trying on your entire families. I commend you for handling the situation the best way you can. I cannot say how I would handle it, because I have never been in your place. I feel like there has to be something going on in your children's mind or lives that makes this acceptable to them. I do not know any American teen-agers that would be ok with the same situation. Again, I wish you the best.

Fiona, you should try to broaden your horizons to encompass more than your own world. There are many pros to learning to keep your mouth shut when you only have unpleasantness to spew.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You are mixing us up


I am Scottish but that doesn't mean that I blindly defend the country - poeple may mistakes, countries make mistakes - I am not so naive that everything Scottish people do is 100% okay and I will do exactly as my neighbour does cause she's Scottish too!!

I think that you have every right to reply on here but please don't reply to my personal email address in future.

However, there is a lot been said already and you may have misunderstood what I did actually write in the same way as I misunderstood and subsequently apologised for.

"I would not go by what Americans do" - for the record I would not do what Germans do, or French do or any other nation for that matter - I do what I do because its right for me and my family - I am not a sheep - I make up my own mind.

"after all they are the fattest nation, statistically the most unhealthy" - this is well known to be statisctically true - not my opinion but fact - and yes I said it but its about a nation not a person therefore cannot be slanderous!

"not a role model I would use in general for my children to model themselves on" - I do not encourage my children to role model on anyone specifically from any nation specifically in general. That's my business and my opinion. There are a lot of opinions here and you seem to have taken offence at mine - I wonder why as I have not said anything directly at you.

"If your child comes home and says can I smoke and take drugs cause they do in America - what do you say? Okay then it myst be alright!!?? I don't think so." I only used America as someone else said something about that nation in a previous post - I would not condone it from Irish, Welsh, English OR Scottish people for that matter nor would I from family, friends or neighbours if it was something I did not want for my children.

So - thats my reasoning and defense - take it or leave it - I know what I meant and no one else has been quite so verbal as you - I assume from what you wrote that you are extremely defensive in general but very verbally defensive about America.

Exactly what did I say that was slanderous?? I did not say that Americans wore diapers at two or three - someone else did. I did not assume that that frequently happens because I don't know this to be fact and also I don't really care.

It is unfortunately becoming common practice for children (eg under 18) to smoke and take drugs in most counties. I believe that more and more children are trying it and many stay hooked - that's in most countries - not just yours. I have also not insulted yours or any other country specifically - it was used as an example of people being sheep - I gave my opinion and some well known facts. What is it that I am ignorant about? - my opinion - haven't you heard about freedom of speech?

As for keeping my mouth shut - I have said nothing directly against you and have not said anything unpleasant against you - you have, so that in my eyes means that you are more ignorant and unpleasant than me.

Just for the record - my children are happy, healthy, loving children from a stable two parent family home and do not have psychopath for a mother - I'm not insinuating that you are by the way!

And for the record - do not send personal emails to my email address - I have blocked you from my address list. That is overstapping the mark!!

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: You are mixing us up

Fiona, Also let me add....I agree with you 100% when you said this...." I am absolutely gobsmacked to read this topic and the numerous replies on this.

What on earth is going on here. I assumed that I had missed something and this young adult was mentally or physically disabled. If she does not have a medical reason for doing this then why are all the adults allowing it. And why are the majority or replies feeling sympathy for the mother? This is craziness and there seems to me to be nothing being done to either stop this child or point the mother in the right direction "

I dont know how the subject/topic changed to something political???

Re: Re: Re: Re: You are mixing us up

TO be honest Fiona I do think the statement that you made

" I would not go by what Americans do, after all they are the fattest nation, statistically the most unhealthy and not a role model I would use in general for my children to model themselves on. If your child comes home and says can I smoke and take drugs cause they do in America - what do you say? Okay then it myst be alright!!?? I don't think so."

Was totally uncalled for, in response or defense of anything concerning a "healthy" teenage child wearing diapers/having BM's by accident.
I am also American and why it wasn’t enough for me to respond to at first...I must ask in what day dream or imagination, could you possibly think that above statement is valid? Yes we are an overweight nation...but I would bet you couldn’t find 1 "healthy/developmentally normal" teen in the whole country wearing pampers and pooping themselves...and letting their parents change their diapers to boot!
You saying things like blindly following /sheep have something to do with our government....and nothing to do with our opinions on teens in diapers

Re: You are mixing us up

QUOTE - "Anyway, older children wearing nappies in the States is probably more socially acceptable than it is here." copied from f"rustrated mom" Feb 2nd.

I DID NOT mention Americans letting their childreN/teens wear nappies past the normal time - I only responded in a way I thought would be construed as - okay so someone else does it - so what - that doesnt make it right.

I've had it with this topic - its crazy that you try to offer advice and shine a light for someone who is blinded by what is happening to them. I feel sorry for the ones who defend this kind of behaviour or challenge someone trying to help by getting political. Maybe you should all go back and re-read what I did say and what I was responding to. God knows I can sleep at night!!

Good luck to the mums that want help with a problem and can accept a bit of constructive criticism in a positive manner. Is that what this site is about or is it lets attack the one who speaks the truth?


Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

I have a very happy and healthy daughter. She is an A student, she has tons of friends. She's never depressed, she's not rattling on about boys, she's not having sex, she's not doing drugs, and she's not drinking. Yes, she wore diapers until she was 14, yes she wore Pull Ups until she was 15. Just because society says a child needs to be out of diapers before their third birthday I'm being attacked here. I think some of you don't even believe me. I have plenty of pictures in my photo album to prove I'm telling the truth. And don't anyone dare scream abuse, they are family photos, most are taken with family or friends.

Re: Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

If by chance you were suggesting that your daughters had an inability to control her bowl, and it was a private matter I could understand that completely, but even then it would be a secret so to speak.. to suggest that she was ok with a younger brother change her, with you changing her in the mall.(doesnt matter if it was 1 time or 50 times). to be put up on diaper changing stations, its far fetched, thats like telling us there is a teen in the world who lets her mother change her sanatary napkins .....common now. No one is judging you as much as being honest about the situation you describe.

If she is an A student and she is normal in all other ways, there is obviously a problem with her body when it comes to bodily matters...and its not a simple case of accidents I still think you are having a go at us!

Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

Having a go? Fine, as you can see from the other post I made, I don't feel comfortable having a picture of my daughter on the internet. But I'll take a chance for now, and delete it after you see it, and I prove to you that I am telling the truth.
My daughter had me take a picture of her and her best friend at a sleepover two weeks ago with her cell phone. My daughter is on the left, it's right before bed so she's wearing her Pull Ups.

Brave Jackie

Very brave of you Jackie,

If your daughter needs continence support then I think it is very strong and generous of you to provide it.

The manufacturers make larger sized nappies/diapers, pull-ups, goodnites, pad & pant systems and other absorbent solutions for people from newborn to and including adults because their is a need for it (making a market for it.)

Humans aren't naturally designed to wear nappies, we have them for those who need them to make our lives easier and cleaner, unless any of you prudes have some instructions from your god about it or some obsure law banning it that you would like to share with us all?

Any family that has gone through having a teen on alcohol/drugs, running wild with hoodlums or following their hormones to awkward positions I am positive would definately swap the experience for a happy well adjusted child and a few extra years of nappy changing.

If anyone wants to put an age limit on nappies then shouldn't you be age limiting the need for milk as well?

Re: Brave Jackie....Prudes???

I dont know about and age limit, but 16yrs is past it! As far as in-continence is concerned, that is a medical problem which Jackie has clearly stated her child doesnt for teens who run wild smoking and the such...could you imagine one of them sprawled out in the mall...while mum changes their bum? at 13? powder too?

Re: Re: Brave Jackie....Prudes???

Ah well I wish Jackie and daughter the best for the future and was just amazed that anyone could be offended/concerned about someone elses child being dependant on nappies whatever the age.

Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

Look at the picture I posted again. Does my daughter look unhappy? She's 16 right there. Wearing Pull Ups. I have pictures of when she was younger and wearing full out diapers if you would like to see those too.

She's happy, she always has been. Does it matter that she wore diapers longer than most? Would you be that upset if you did see a 13 year old getting their bum wiped and powdered and diapered would you be that upset? Would you go say something to the parent?

Re: Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

I honestly can't see the harm in it and I do think it makes you a much kinder and more open parent to go through the act of changing nappies for the extra years.

While a huggies ad was on the tv the other day the 8 year old at home even said it would be cool to wear nappies again, so I don't think it's that uncommon for kids to want that extra bit of hands on attention.

Put your photos up and see what people say.

Re: Re: Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

You lot are absolutely mad and need a parenting course - what about helping them to grow up to be responsible and with feelings of importance, this is not the way to ensure your kids feel loved - its undervaluing their self-worth. You lot think its cool to 'baby' your kids - your off your heads!!! They will not be proud of this when theyre older.

Have some self respect and stop this stupidity - both the actions and the posting and bragging that its okay


Re: Re: Re: Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

In your opinion Fiona

Re: Re: Re: Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

I agree that this is a bad situation for all involved (the parents & the children). BUT must you always be SO NICE, Fiona?

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

Don't get me wrong folks, I am not belittling the parents/others in this who genuinely have a problem. Far from it - I think they need help.

What I am so frustrated at is the way that it is being discussed on here like its okay. It may be okay for them to do it their way - but do it in private and dont expect acceptance from others cause you more than likely wont get it. What is happening is odd, no 2 ways about it. Most people will think it is odd for a teenager to be in nappies and changed in public. More people will think it strange for the parents to think that its okay to do it. Probably all parents will not change places with there parents even if a pile of money was offered in exchange.

I just feel its sad that parents can post their daughters piccy on here in nappies for all and sundry to see - what if their daughters friends use the board! Will they be proud of it when they are getting married - will they tell their husband - I don't think so.

Okay so if it works for you - fine- but keep it private.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

"Most people will think it is odd for a teenager to be in nappies and changed in public. More people will think it strange for the parents to think that its okay to do it."

At one time people thought it wrong for women to have a say, people not of the majority ethnic background to have a vote and people with disabilities to be seen in public. Thankfully things have changed.

Personally I think it's society (yourself included) that needs to have a bit of acceptance for things that are outside the normal comfort zone especially since these things can't really hurt.

If Jackies daughters future partner doesn't like the idea that she needed/used/uses continance protection then I would say both of them would need to think about what they love and like about each other rather than worrying about what someone else might think.

Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

I don't know why some people get so worked up over this. It's just a diaper. What is the difference between seeing a 2 year old girl getting her diaper changed and a 14 year old getting her diaper changed?
Is it really that bad that she didn't start potty training until she was 15? Is it so horrible I had a 15 year old wearing Pull Ups, reminding when to go potty, and changing when she had an accident? I mean, hey, she's 16 now, still has accidents. She wears special cotten panties during the day incase she has a small accident, and at bed time, she still wears Pull Ups. I still change her in the morning too.
Is the world coming to an end because of this? I don't think so. I think some people are getting worked up over nothing though.

Re: Help. My daughter keeps messing her knickers

Jackie, is there a reason why she can't change herself in the morning? I don't think anyone has a problem with a teenager having continence problems, I think it is you changing her that people find unusual. My 11 year old isn't incontinent, but does have periods, she sorts herself out. I don't touch her sanitary towels and she wouldn't want me to do that. I think encouraging our children to develop independence is an important part of parenting and my daughter taking care of matters like this is an important part of growing up. I understand that children develop at different rates but at 16 very few children couldn't take a pair of pull-ups off and shower themselves. It is part of growing up that children begin to want to have their own privacy. Of course I used to bathe and wash my daughter and now she does it herself. She would hate the idea of people seeing her half naked if I changed her in a shopping mall. If your daughter needs pull-ups at night... fine ... that's not an issue to me. But surely an intelligent A grade student that your daughter appears to be can manage to change herself?