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~husband troubles~

Hello all, hopefully someone can help me recover my relationship.

We have a 2 year old, and a 10 week old.

2 weeks ago, my husbands brother died, and my husband has lost the will to carry on with us he now says his brother was all that ever mattered to him. My husband isn't healthy he had a massive heart attack about 3 years ago and has been the stay at home Dad, and really enjoyed it. But as his health decreases he has lost all energy (and yes he's been to dr's they just say that is what you can expect and to carry on)

I head back to work tomorrow, I am exhuasted because I HAVE had to do everything for all of us, and I am at my wits end. today as an example, my husband stayed in bed all day, while I had 2 hours of work to do (computer work/while on phone with head office) and look after kids, clean up house and make meals, multi tasking is taking on a new meaning around here. I am so angry at my husband I could throw him out on his ass today.

If it had just been the passing of my brother-in-law it would be fine but he's completely disapeared from the assistance in our family/home life for a long time now. I have not gotten any more than 4 hours sleep in a row, since baby was born, because he won't offer, or take baby. He has been so foul, that the odd time he pays him any attention the baby screams (this baby is very sensitive)

I hope no one thinks I am being very selfish, I'M JUST SO VERY FRUSTRATED and EXHAUSTED. I don't need a 3rd baby, I also feel so sad that the kids are missing out on how great a guy he can be.

Husband goes to dr tomorrow, but dr is a pill pusher so unlikely anything will get any better. ANY suggestions, or anything at this point would be incredible. Even just writing this letter has helped!!

I have someone coming in tomorrow to help himn with the kids, thank goodness!

Well thank you to all who are listening!!


Re: ~husband troubles~

Hi there,

That sounds just awful for you, it must be so tough. Maybe you could get your husband to see a berevement counsellor. My Mother suffered terrible berevement when her parents died and withdrew herself. Counselling really helped her come to terms with the death of her parents then she was able to tackle other problems that had occured in the meantime.

I think you going back to work will help you and give you time out from the household. But if you could get him to talk to someone outside of the situation t could do him the world of good.

Good luck.

Re: Re: ~husband troubles~

I dont think you are being selfish but I would ask that you give your husband the time he needs to heal and as the other poster said maybe look into some counsiling.

also, If he is not well...just think of the way your life would be if you really had to take care of him. It sounds like he is suffering from depression and that is truely like a bad hart. If you love your husband and Im sure you do....take care of him. THings will get better again.

Re: Re: Re: ~husband troubles~

your husband sounds very depressed. If his doctor isn't adressing his problems, you need to find him a new doctor. Is he seeing a cardiologist? If he's just getting worse, don't sit around and wait for another heart attack. If he's not able to take charge of his health, you need to do it for him. You didn't say how old he is, or whether his brother died of a heart attack. I know how hard it is for you, with two little children, and you need time for you, but chances are if you (both of you) don't find the cause of your husbands decline in health, he won't be around to help raise your children. I'm a nurse, and i see alot of patients that have heart problems, please if he wont help himself, help him.