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Hi all,i'm ruth and have a 11 month old daughter called Emily.I'm new to this site but have been traipsing the net for ages looking for help,hope someone can help me????
To cut a very long story short,Emilys father left when i was 5 mths pregnant,he see's her about once a month through his choice.
I have been in a realationship with a guy for over a year now,he was there through pregnancy,birth etc so he kinda jumped in the deep end anyway.
He's at uni and has to drive an hour each way so he can come home at night and not live there.
Things were great for a while but now its hell, he has a violent streak in him and i've been on the receving end a few times so far,so i'm now too scared of him to bring this up again!he's always away and when he gets back he never wants to spend time with me and/or emily,he goes on the computer then goes to bed,if he comes and says hello to emily,hes with her 2 minutes then he gets board.
He's always saying how he shouldnt be here he should be with his mates at uni being a lad!
He has out bursts every now and again strangles me saying he wishes i was dead,he hates me and that because i dont work at the min(because emily has problems with kidneys,in and out of hospital) and because i receive benefits i'm scum,i belong in the gutter,he seems to think that i cant live without him and he;s even said that he knows he treats me bad but he knows ill be there all the time because i cant go out and meet people because i have emily.
I'm so unhappy and scared,i dont know what to do, because im used to having a boyfriend i dont know how ill cope on my own,become dependant on him.
And emily loves him to peices,but then if i were to end it i know it would be better sooner rather than later because emily should remember him when shes older should she?
Please somebody help me,i'm scared and have no one to talk to!
GET OUT, and do it right away! If he's violent he will eventually turn his anger on your little girl. There is someone out there that is waiting to love you and emily and you can't find him if your hanging on to a bad relationship. There are many organizations that can help you to get out, get away and move on with your life. Being a single mother can be scary but being in your situation is even scarier. For your sake and the sake of your daughter run as fast as you can and leave that LOSER in the dust
I'm sorry you are going through this. I myself am getting out of a bad relationship. You need to do what's best for you and your daughter. He's already put his hands on you, and I don't doubt that if he's mad enough he could get out of control and hurt your little girl. There are organizations out there to help, books to read, and support groups to join. I understand your feeling alone, and scared to be independant but it's best for the both of you. If you need to you can get a restraining order agains him. Don't ever sell yourself short, and if you want to be happy in the future, leaving him would be the first and best step. Hope things start turning for the better for you!
you must leave!...women so often fall into the trap of ....But I love him, love doesnt hurt and love should keep you afraid....you may not believe it, but there is someone better for you. Take a chance even if it means being alone for a while with your daughter.
Thank you for your support everyone,means so much to have somone to talk to,i'm so scared to leave,and i do love him i think.....anyone been in the same situation and got out ok? need to know how to approuch this!!