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9 year old boy being disrectful

We are having a problem with my 9 year old son. he is
basically a good boy. Get's good grades. Smart kid.
He is becoming disrespectul at times...more so at home,
but also at times in school. By my observations and
knowing my son....when he gets upset or hurt is when
he gets disrespectful. for example...when he is told
to do something in school like to turn around...he gets
embarrased and talks back. I want to help him...but
at the same time this is absolutely unacceptable. My
husband always yells at him for being dispectful but
I think it is totally counterproductive. I need a
plan. But I don't have one! Can anyone help me???