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4 year old whining and winging but only with mother

where do i begin when my emotioinal energies for my son seem to be fading fast.My son constantly winges and whines when in my company and can be uncharacteristically demanding and impatient. this behaviour is only displayed when i am around. i am shocked to be in a place where i am having to almost constantly conciously consider my behaviour towards him.I would never hit him, but i have shouted at him with such force on occassions that i feel terrible.sometimes i feel that i dont even like him and i constantly feel so manipulated by him that i know my reaction is incongruous with the situation. My son has always been such a loving caring independant little boy. i was a single parent so our relationship was very strong and we spent alot of time with each other. i am now in a new relationship and also find the tug of wanting to be with my partner and the demands of my son are sometimes emotionally pulling me apart.i really dont know what to do i have tried every approach, but i find it all so hard .he is so needy and just seems to want me every second that i am in his company. i feel as if i am going insane with it all!! can any one identify with whats happening to me?

Re: 4 year old whining and winging but only with mother

I son is 6 and many times I feel like I cant handle situations with him either. Most fights start with him disagreeing with me and talking back to me. I tend to use vocal force against him also only because it seems like the only way to get my point across. However, the more I do this the more he disobeys and yells back at me. It becomes a viscious cycle with him. I totally understand what you are going through. Your situation could be a combination of things. The new relationship you are in could be causing your son to feel like he needs more of your attention. And while the attention he gets from acting like that is negative, it's still attention. Kids will accept negative attention just as well as positive.