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Todays Parenting

I was wondering...I have 4 kids, 2 of my own and 2 stepkids, they are very disrespectful and show no respect of any kind for our home, the things or people in it. If you ask them to do something, they look at you like you have 12 heads! Now, with my own children growing up, I never really spanked them, always tried to explain right from wrong, never disrespected them in any way, when one would get in trouble, I would always listen to their explanation as to why it all those books on how to raise a happy unspoiled child, talked to the doctors, everything, yet I still get treated like crap everyday! Now, if they get in trouble, they will get grounded, or have some favorite priveledge taken away, and we stick to all of the punishments, and still...treated like crap. If you watch programs about parenting, they will say that the childs behaivor is a reflection of your parenting, well in some ways I will agree with them, but then again, we are only being the kind of parent that society is allowing us to be. We are no longer allowed to punish our children for fear that the slightest spanking will be called into Child Services. Now, I understand that children are abused everyday, heck I was one of them. I do not see anything wrong with spanking a child. I am 31 years old and I still dont talk to my parents the way these kids talk to us now a days. We are always told...put them in a time out, tell them why its wrong and to never do it again, reward them for not breaking your things, reward them for not stealing from someone...Can someone please tell me just why we need to do these things? When I was a kid, if your parents told you to do something, you did it. No questions asked. And if you didnt, bam! You were punished. We didnt get rewards for cleaning our rooms, it was your job. We didnt get rewards for not talking back, you simply didnt do it. The schools are teaching our kids that if we spank them, we are abusing them. Everyone is always saying its the parents fault that they blew up the school or shot someone...NOPE! Its the goverments fault. Maybe if some of those kids got a spanking now and then instead of oh you poor thing, just dont do it again. They might not have turned out that way. Maybe I'm wrong but if you compare kids today with the kids 30+ years ago, noboby was shooting anyone or blowing things up or talking back to adults, we had respect for our elders, for our homes, our things, everything. Now I'm not saying that a spamnking solves evcerything because I know it doesnt but do you see where Im coming from???? The Child Protective Services have such a hard time keeping up on the people who actually abuse their kids because they are inundated with calls about a parent who spanked their kids. Whoopie!!! Abuse is abuse but come on, when are we going to be allowed to be parents again? I feel so sorry for people having children now a days. All I can say is Good Luck, youre going to need it. Or better yet, just give the child to the government cause thats whos going to be raising it not you. Now you cant even wash a kids mouth out with soap! How many of you had that happen? Your still alive, but now, its child abuse. where will it end? When will our children be ours again to parent how we see fit? Remember, my kids have been spanked a total of 2x and they are 10, 10, 12, 13. So Im not saying that I beat the kids up, Im saying that these people who read those books by Doctors who have never even had kids theyve only observed are kidding themselves. You are not the parents, those books are. Im scared to think that these kids today are going to be running this country and taking care of me in my old age. If they dont respect us now, they never when your old and cant do for yourself, dont expect these kids to be there cause they wont.

Re: Todays Parenting

I agree with you to a certain extent. I agree that kids do not respect adults at all. However, it was already happening when I was young.

I'm 43 but I remember having a very bad attitude to my parents. My Dad did spank us if we did something really wrong, but I was very lazy and would never do anything I was asked without moaning or being lippy. Yup - I was pretty vile.

My parents were middle class academics and always spoke to me as though I was a vlauble person with valuable opinions. Maybe that is the problem - but it's also valuable too.

From a very early age, I saw my parents as people, with faults liek anyone else. I now value the fact that I could argue back as it taught me important negociating and debating skills and teaches you also to stand up for yourself - that's the upside of course. The downside is that I didn't treat my parents with the kind of respect that you mean: I always had to be given a good reason to do something.I am a reasonable person now though as i was taught consideration of others.

Now I am a parent i have the same problems as yourself with my children. i can't believe the way they talk to me sometimes. I do follow the advice of the books too , but I feel that along with the fact that schools can no longer offer strict controls, children do not learn blind respect and obedience and with that comes their attitude.

I suppose it is our job to teach them social skills and care and consideration of others. But like you, I wonder where this is all leading.

It is a very interesting issue.

Re: Todays Parenting

I agree with you 100% I am also early 30's and my life growing up was just like yours...there was no talking back, and no rewards for doing what was expected.
Now I have a child whom I will spank...not as regularly as I was spanked as a child, but when something is done and it’s wrong, I will get after her.
I think the Gov. is too quick to call a spanking abuse...even if it was a good one that leaves marks. A spanking should inflict pain not injury...a small wrong deserves a small spanking and serious wrong deserves a serious spanking!
Schools and Gov. need to let us raise our kids....that’s why teachers are in such a state now! They can’t control the kids and the kids can’t be properly punished at home.