Hi there, it is fairly normal for children's behaviour to be at odds with their behaviour at school. Often children who are boisterous, loud, noisy etc at home can be complete angels at school and visa versa.
It is unlikey that your wife/partners condition has had any affect on your childrens behaviour as they were so young when this dreadful thing happened, they will not really have known her in any other way and will have adapted to 'how it is'.
Son ~ if he tells you he is ok at hime then most probably he is, perhaps you could have him invite a friend round from school once in a while or take him out to the bowling alley and football etc (whatever he is interested in). Regarding his diet if you are worried he is not getting the nutrients he needs then contact the doctor so he can be assessed (weight/height) and then if it appears he is very underweight to have him referred to a dietician who can check his food intake and advise accordingly.
Daughter ~ whingeing kids can be very waring, so I would suggest you ignore her when it happens (DO NOT GIVE IN TO HER WHEN SHE IS IN THIS FRAME OF MIND) However when she is being good and pleasant give her all the attention you can muster, praise etc.. Also ask her friends round to ensure she is treated fairly. As for the talkative thing , sorry but this is normal for a girl (women have a much more developed brain in the communication area )you will simply have to put up with it!!
I think that if you are this concerned that you should talk to your GP. You really don't know how the stroke has affected them. They may not know as well but it could be linked in a way. Children don't always know how to express themselves. The one thing I ALWAYS rely on as a parent is my gut instinct and if you are this concerned then do what you think is right. Your children are growing up and they are beginning to see things differently than when they were small and if you feel their well being is at risk then consult your doctor.
