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The sensative bully?

Here is a good one for the psychologists out there. I have an 8 year old daughter. I guess calling her sensative is the correct description but apparently thats only around me. We got a call today from her school saying she has been hurting other children emotionally. Insulting, calling names, that sort of thing. To me, that is the complete opposite of what I see.

List of my daughters tendencies:
1. In sports, basketball, she is not aggressive. Never goes after the ball. Moves away when the ball or players get near.
2. Is very much a daddies girl. I do tend to baby her a bit.
3. Is beginning to argue with my wife and I a little.
4. Has a 1 year old sister that she is jealous of at times. We have been trying to get her more involved with taking care of her sister recently to get away from that.
5. Is very timid when around new people.
6. Is a very good student in school.
7. Plays well with children when around us.

With all that, I NEVER thought she would be the "bully" in the crowd. I always saw her as the possible victim. So how can I help her to be more outgoing and less bully at the same time.

Re: The sensative bully?

Hi DAD,
you know sometimes the victim type child is also the bully its they way they protect themselves. They feel that the other kids are messing with them and as soon as they assert themselves or stand up for them selves they get in trouble.(Victim)

I would teach her propper ways to stand up for herself with out comming across as the meanie, and explain to her the propper way of telling on others bad behavior towards her without comming off as a tattle tale.

I would continue to let her be daddys girl to help with her self esteem, dads are really important that way with girls, it helps girls in a different way than it does boys.