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5yr old hates me, please help!!!

My husband and I married at 17. We now have three very beautiful little girls 5/4/16mos. For the past 5 years I was a stay at home mom. About 10mos. ago I got a job to help out with the finances and b/c I felt like I needed to meet new friends, other couples with children for the whole family. I really missed having an adult conversation with someone. All of our previous friends were not interested in us always having our kids every where we went. Since I began working my 5yr. olds behavior has gotten worse and worse. When I have to disipline her it's for stuff that she knows is just not acceptable. Such as tormenting the baby and hitting on her 4yr. old sis that is a lot smaller than her. She says really hurtful things like "I hate you", "I wish you were't my mom", "I want a new family","I wish you never had me" and ,not knowing where she got it from she says that she is going to call the cops on me and I am going to jail b/c I am mean to her. She is attending kindergarten. Could she be picking these things up from another child at school? She is always asking me when I am going to stop working so that she can be a car rider again. When she was in Pre-K I never missed a school function, I was the home room mother, and took her to and from school myself everyday. I know that she does not like me working, but what do I do to help her to accept the reality that I have to work? I really need advice, It is hard for me to punish her when I feel like in some way I have abandoned her. PLEASE HELP!!!!!

Re: 5yr old hates me, please help!!!

its going to take time for every one to get used to you working .i really think you need to stop beating yourself up over this ,i think your little girl is picking up on the fact you feel so bad about going back to work and is using it to make you feel worse because she thinks she can make you stay at home that way. why dont you try setting some time by for just her and her to do some thing that is just for the two of you, make it some thing she really enjoys and make it clear that if you didnt work you wouldnt have the money to do it. most of all set rules and try time out, star charts and stick to it. most of all give her time and give yourself a break ,its clear your a good mum and the fact you have gone back to work does not change that.all children say things like "i hate you" dont read too much into it they only say it out of anger they dont really hate you!!!
keep your chin up chick

Re: Re: 5yr old hates me, please help!!!

Hi there, I agree with debbie, I think your daughter is aware you are feeling guilty and is playing to it in the hope you will give up work and at herbeck and call again. I would simply ignore all of her demands and when she says hurtful things like 'I hate you' simply reply 'well I love you very much' so that she can see she is not getting to you. When she is good give her lots of cuddles and positive praise, try to give her a slightly later bedtime of her own when you can give her real one to one, after the others have gone to bed to make her feel a bit special. Good luck and don't worry.