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need tips / advice, urgently

Hello, I am quite worn out now with my sons (nearly 4 years old) behaviour when I tell him not to do something. Whenever I say Leave xxx or Please don't do xxx, he does it again. Whatever xxx is at that time, can be anything. Always! As if on purpose. He is a lovely and very bright boy, and I do not think he does it on purpose and when I ask why he does it he says he does not know, it just happens. I do believe him.

But it does drive me mad. I am a single parent since 3 years, no support as all my family lives in Germany and friends far away, we live very rural as well, so no way of just me leaving the scene to someone else.
I put him in time out, but it does not help, and now I am so worn out that I start shouting and screaming at him very often when he does it again.

He is very sensitive and I fear all my shouting and screaming will traumatise him, and it really wears me out !!!

I would be very grateful if anyone could offer tips advice etc...


Re: need tips / advice, urgently

There is a great book called Discipline without Shouting or Spanking. I can't remember the author's name but do a google on the title and you will find it. Your local library might have it too.

It does sound like you need a bit of break. Is there anyone you can trust to look after your boy for a couple of hours while you have some time out? It does help to get away for a while.

I know I go on a lot about this on this board but I do believe there is a link between diet and behaviour. If you are interested in my views on this have a look below at my response to Nathan's Mum's thread. I don't want to type it out again

Re: Re: need tips / advice, urgently

Thanks, Petal,
the input with the connection between his food intake and behaviour is excellent I looked up the website - a must-read for every mother!
Actually I thought myself the other day if the reason for his behaviour could have been all this rubbish christmas food / sweets en masse. I stopped it yesterday and already today I can see a difference!!!

The need for a break seems a problem with not much of solution but that would be a thing I would definitely need. But no family and friendfs around here and no oney for childcare ( I am single) seems to make that impossible. But anywaty, thank you so much!!

Re: Re: Re: need tips / advice, urgently

Annette I am so glad the website helped, I was so sceptical of the diet and behaviour link until I saw the amazing difference in my daughter. For some kids it makes a huge impact.

I hope you can make some friends soon so you can get a bit more support. You sound like a great mum but we all need a bit of a break and some support sometimes.

Best of luck to you and and your lovely family