Hi. Need some advice about my four year old daughter's behaviour. She is very demanding and controlling. She lays on the sofa all day demanding that I get her pens and colouring book and drinks and virtually everything else. If I try to get her to do it for herself she has tantrums and whinges. She also tries to control everything around her even down to where the cats sleep. This is causing problems at nursery due to her controlling manner. Tried time out and almost everthing else but completely lost now!!!!!

Children test boundaries. Maybe she feels out of control and is trying to control everything to help herself feel in control and to test the boundaries. Stop doing everything for her. Tell her if she does not get it then she's out of luck. When she has her tantrum ask her to go to her room to calm down or to sit on the couch to calm down. Give her incentive to do things on her own. Give her a small chore list or put rewards to acomplishments. Example: cleaning up toys get a sticker when she has gotten so many stickers let her pick a treat or a movie or something. My son began behaviour like this when he turned 3 and now he's almost 6 and it's fading. the key is to let go. It's not your problem if she's upset because she won't do things for herself.