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she's 18 and 5 years old at the same time

My oldest daughter is 18 years old. She enjoys the adult perks a lot. Unfortunately, so much of her time is spent acting like she is 5 years old.Everything is a drama for her if she does not get everything her way. I am a single mom, working a full time job, with a heart condition, I am tired a lot, and ask for help around the house. I want her to have a part time job so that I don't have to give her money, buy her makeup, and all the extras I think she should do for herself. She refuses to get a part time job, she doesn't have a resume, or she doesn't have a ride to apply, or she doesn't want to work at a fast food restaurant... the list is endless. At home she has chores, or rather supposed to have chores, ie: loading the dishwasher after dinner,her own laundry, tidying the kitchen every evening, I did not think the was too much to ask. Am I wrong? I have now just grounded her, she can not spend the weekend at the boyfriend's house, or be on the computer, or phone until she does something about the disaster in the room. She is planning on moving out, she thinks I am not aware of it. Part of me thinks she should awful am I as a mom to want that?

Re: she's 18 and 5 years old at the same time

Hi, until your daughter experiences how hard life can be for herself then she will never learn. If she wants to move out let her, she will then have to get a job and look after her own home. It will be quite a shock to her! Just make sure that the door is left open for her to return home to you. Try to support this idea of independence, and be encouraging not judgemental. She will be back!

Re: Re: she's 18 and 5 years old at the same time

I agree with the other poster- if she is not willing to take responsibility for herself at home she should go out into the real world and see how difficult things can be out there! i think it would be a real learning experience for her. It is totally unfair what she is doing to you, i would refuse to give her any more money whatsoever and tell her that if she wants the priveledges of being an adult then she must also accept the responsibilities and when she starts to do that (ie get a job) then she can expect more from you. In other words, you help her only if she makes an effort to help herself. it may seem a little harsh but do you still want her relying on you for cash at 30? she needs to learn about real life and take some responsibility for herself. good luck!

Re: Re: Re: she's 18 and 5 years old at the same time

Slip two quarters in an envelope on her pillow with the note "call for help any time" and let her go. Unless she is bumming at a friend's, she'll be back within a few weeks. You may want to consider providing her some kind of long-term birth control if she is not responsible herself- hormone implants, IUD or whatever works. Stay out of her business. As much as she may hate you for knowing anything, it will worry her if you ignore her.