Hi - I have not had exactly this problem but I have just returned to the UK after 5 years in Tokyo. No matter how prepared you are the relocation is big deal for everyone. The kids are probably acting out their anxieties and frustrationsat the change of environment. Any violence is unacceptable. Boys may be rough and tumble but there is a very clear line. I would suggest the following
1. Talk to them individually and say that you have a zero tolerance policy towards any violence and ensure that your husband reinforces this policy.
2. Praise good behaviour and ignore minor infringements. Withdraw privileges for major infringements. Even if they push your buttons, act calmly and don't give attention to bad behaviour.
3. Are you able to join any of the big sports / country clubs in HK? They often run lots of activity programs for kids in English. Get your sons involved in the gymnastics program and junior martial arts, its a good way of channelling their energies.
4. Cut TV watching time to a minimum of 1 hour a day and make sure the programs they watch are good content. Have them read books, cook do anything else.
5. Try and have other kids over for playdates, girls would be a good idea as the rough play automatically decreases.
I know a lot of this is easier said than done, but if you don't get stressed then the kids won't so have a gameplan and go for it.
Good luck, it takes a few months to find your feet but have faith and patience and you will do it.
Re: Re: trauma of relocation- kids talking of harm
thanks for your reply and advice. i think i was misleading in that they aren't actually being violent, just saying really crazy stuff that i've never heard before.
they both just started school and so will hopefully find friends that i can invite to play (although our things are still in a container so the toys are minimal). We are also in the process of researching the extra activities, quite a task to juggle the timetable so that they can both do what they want to.
and we did have a better evening yesterday, so hopefully we are back on the up. thanks again for taking the time to reply. Nadine
