i have 4 children aged 2(boy),6(girl),7(girl) and 10(boy).my children do not allways behave perfectly(or even good)but they are good hearted kids and ilove them dearly.my problem is my eldest son,he is very moody and bad tempered,he has started to lash out at me and his siblings.if he does something wrong,he never takes responsability for it,its allways my fault.he says i am ruining his life and he hates me.but then he can be so loving and considerate and adult at other times.my husband says i am too soft with him that i spoil him and i should dicipline him harder.i dont know what to do anymore.please give me some advice to help me get through to the loving child that used to be my son.

Cindy,
I wish I had some great advice..but unfortunately, your life sounds like mine!! And my husband says the exact same thing to me!!
I have great kids, but my 12 year old daughter and 10 year old son are certainly getting the best of me!!!

Hang in there..one day they'll have kids of their own :)
Jeanie

thanks, its good to know im not on my own.

Cindy, this may seem crazy to you but it is possible to change your child's behaviour through you without you even having to talk to him. It's a whole new approach which is cutting edge, and it will be the way we all think in years to come. You and your relationship are the key drivers behind your child's behaviour. As you change your child changes, its amazing and I have seen it work so many times. Take a look at www.childproblem.co.uk, or email me - get the free stuff, see what you think.There is a better way than going in harder - which, of course,causes damage.
Best wishes
David

i have a 10yr old son, he to can be very loving but i have noticed his aggression towards his siblings(girl8 and son5), i have however put it down to hormones, i think sometimes we find it had to remember ourselves going through that period in lfe. i get told i'm ruining his life etc..etc.. dont beat yourself up over it its not worth it, you sound a pretty grounded person and kids are a challenge none of us are really prepared for, hopefully his behaviour is something he'll grow out of, best of luck my friend and remember your not alone

Do you get much one on one time with him? It can't be easy with so many other commitment. Maybe a male role model in addition to his father would help. Sometimes relating to a figure outside his immediate circle may help. Does he have any younger Uncles or do you know any responsible young males he can do an activity with like - fishing or tennis or such like?
As for the you are too soft line - I don't think one can be too soft with kids - I do think that you cannot give into bad behaviour and it is best to ignore negative comments and praise positive comments. Hang in there.