I'ma mother of two boys ages 3 and 6. My 3 yr old is out of control. He will hit, bite and throw things at his brother any chance he gets. I've tried time outs but that doesn't seem to work at all. The moment he comes out of a time out he goes straight to his brother and hits him again, or bites. He bites so hard that it leaves a mark for a few days. I don't know what to do any more. I've talked with a doctor and the only thing he gave me was papers to read on child behavoir (this is where i got some ideas but none seems to work). I've tried taking away favorite toys to time outs to raising my voice, and nothing seems to work. It looks like he enjoys the time outs because when he does something bad, he puts himself in a time out. Could it be I'm using this too much? Any one please help. Any advise will be appreciated.
Perhaps you're not sticking to one thing for long enough. Whatever method of discipline you choose depends on your child but then you need to give it time to work. I would give it a month to see any true changes. Give it a try! Good luck!
Have you explored why your son is behaving this way? Is it about attention? Remember that any attention - even if it is being growled at, or picked up and put in T/O -is better than none. Talk to close friends who have observed you and your interactions with him - ask them to be honest and be prepared for it. They may have some really good insights. And then class them as your best friends - don't stop talking to them!!
I think people have given you some great feedback. I know this will sound crazy, but I have worked through this one many times with people. It's sibling rivalry which ahs a big authority conflict issue in there. Somewhere in you, somewhere inside you, you have felt just this way and it is not resolved. Only recently I had a couple who had exactly the same problem. Things would fall off the shelves in all the aisles in Tesco's when this child got going. It was a whirling dervish situation. I explored one of the parents' childhoods and got to exactly the same feelings in the parent, then in the grand parent. Then what had been a parent child issue came back to its easier place to deal with - between the parents, an adult issue. It does not matter whether you are the mum and dad or parent, step parent, or carers...but whatever your child is acting out you can resolve by working with yourself and your relationship. It is uncanny how well it works. I help parents with their children all the time by only working with the parents. Parents are able to make grown up choice when they see issues in a way a child will find it hard to understand. There are many ways through this problem. Your child very angry, anger is a cover emotion, underneath that is probably terrible feelings of heart break. Yes you can control him by tell and do, commands, withdrawal of love, but that pain is still there and it will come out later. How were things for you in your childhood? Deal with your stuff and your child's issue collapses. In truth, it is the same pain.
