Similar situation. Our 6 yr. old DD prefers over my DH. From the get-go it has been this way. I have assured my husband that she will grow out of it, but it's been 6 years! He takes days off from work to have "Daddy Daughter" days with her - buys her anything she wants and doesn't discipline her as much as me. When it is just him and her it's fine. But when I am around it's like daddy who? I wish she were a Daddy's little girl at least half the time because it is hard on me because it's like I am raising her myself because she doesn't let him do anything for her when I am around. I am curious to see what others have to say to you which may help me situation too. Good luck. I can total emphathise with you. I feel so bad for my DH who is a wonderful father and gets shafted.
My 20 month old son prefers me (his mom) sometimes I feel bad about it because I think it makes my husband feel a little put out, but I am the mom after all. Women have a way with children I think. I think that when my son grows up he will naturally want to go with his dad and do "boy" things like fishing/ferris wheel/football/camp fire type stuff. I think that little girls, while they have daddies that will do anything for them, will still hang with mom, and if made to choose will choose mom just because it's always been that way. Way back in caveman days, the mom was stable, the dad went hunting and maybe didn't come back. I would think that whenever strange things go on you want your mom first. I know I do (I am a girl though) Who knows... Good luck to you.
P.S. You're probably not doing anything wrong :) It's just that motherly instinct type thing.
There is so much going on in a situation like this. I have every sympathy for you and the reason you are not getting any sympathy is partly because you are being needy! This is not a crime. We all have needs. But if we don’t take responsibility for them a little they can most certainly make us unattractive. Then what happens is your wife begins to feel she has two children to look after. Your son and you. It’s very important to keep a sense of humour about this! For example, always remember that behind every successful husband there is a surprised mother-in-law. What is coming up in you are a lot of places where you have felt rejected, left out, not loved, not favoured, chosen etc in your childhood. Maybe you felt you had to compete for love, maybe your mum was very close to you and on some level you feel your son is threatening your dependence on your wife. The key thing is not to push the river, because if you want your son to want you, who is that for? Is it for the sake of your son – or is it so that you can feel okay? There is a saying “It takes a whole village to raise a child”, and it is quite normal and natural for babies and toddlers to head for women, for sons to bond closely with mum. The feminine is often the safest option in any family, more sensitive, patient, tender, open….the power of a mother’s love is something to be in awe of rather than compete with. And how cool will you look when you let go of your need to have your son behave in a certain way. Successful people are people around whom a lot gets done! It is not about time spent it is about heart given, not about quantity but quality, not about doing but being, nerve and emotional courage. If you do not give your love to your son unconditionally, but rather with conditions, it will back fire sometimes. You are doing great though, even posting these honest feelings.
My three children are blooming and all college age now but I remember months when my second child would not talk to me at all. She seemed to not like me, she was aged about four. Fortunately, my love for her was so great that it was easy to trust her love, trust her heart, trust the whole process. It simply stopped one day never to return as an issue. Your son is devoted to you, trust him.
children bond with their mother during pregnancy. Once they are born they bond with their main carer. I looked after my God Son for two months whilst his mother was in hospital. When she came home, he wouldn't go near her, he only wanted me. The more contact you have with a child, the more they will bond with you.
Your mother in law should perhaps leave your child's care to you a bit more, he isn't her child, he's yours.
