just had my 2nd child's parent teacher interview.My daughter is 6 yrs old.The teacher has mentioned with concern my daughter is bossy, and its her way or the hwy and she has a low tolerance of other class mates who have upset her in the past.I don't no what to do?Her school work is excellent.she does fight a bit with her 8 yr old sis at home but normally a happy average gil

Children in the "Active" temperement quadrant tend to be dominant and bossy. I and many day care centers see it all the time. These characteristics are GOOD. They tend to take action, and have an instinctive talent to lead. Schools are often unable to teach this temperement to lead, because they have to stick to a solid structure that will generally cover all the children. Leader/bossy seesawing is a hard thing to manage. I heard that these kids thrive with structure. But being smart, it has to be logical and fair to them. Restraining in a way they dislike creates more resistence. I also heard that other than validation of their feelings, they more-so need acknowledgement of those feelings. One crying child with a sensitive temperement might need you to say..."I see that you are sad." While the Active child needs..."I see that you are mad, and thats ok, but innapropriate in this situation..." Not the best book in the world, but still good, Dr John Grays Children are from Heaven speaks of these temperement managment issues. A behavior managment method that is very effective with the Active type temperement is 1-2-3 Magic by Dr Thomas W Phelan.

Elizabeth do you have shares in the 1-2-3 magic tapes?
Your advice seems to be somewhat similar for a whole host of different problems.
Mums also need practical advice not bible spoutings.

thanks for your well thought out reply, it has helped and I will get that book.I to at school was called bossy but then it turned into great leadership skills which was recongised at high school.Im hoping this will be for my daughter to.again thank you.