Friday 12th August 19.14pm

Hi all, Many thanks for your replies to my post. It seems there are two sides to this, both of them I can fully appreciate. One side being that I should not leave the kids alone or do things if it involves leaving the kids alone for any length of time. the other being that I should do the course and let the kids have time alone as it may instill some responsiblitity into them. Probably, the best thing at the moment is to try out a few "test" runs and give them instructions, see how they get on. I could try 1/4 hr first, then depending on how that goes, try 1/2 hr and slowly lead up to an hour. The kitchen would be locked as I know the kids cant be trusted in there yet. However, I think they may be ok if they just come in and watch TV. I would make sure they have got my phone number in case there are any problems. Yes, I feel that this is the way forward at the moment. Thanks again for all your replies. Much apprecoated. From Shirley

You are their mom, and you are not doing a good job. They need you to "Do life WITH them."
Im sure you will be mad at this reply, which would prove it true...or you would'nt react madly.

I suggest a book by Hal Urban titled Lifes Greatest Lessons; 20 things that matter. To get your stuff together and restructure your situation. It flat out tells you what to do to be successful in this issue.
Go to Amazon.com and buy it used.

Monday 15th Aug 22.49pm

Hi Elizabeth, I agree totally, I am not doing a good job!!!!!! Infact I have never felt so ******* inadequate in all my life!!!!! And if I won the lottery, I would be long gone!! Yes, sick may be. But you do not appreciate the situation here fully and my fears as well. I am not superwoman, not perfect, havent got all the answers and am virtually alone with this, alone with something that I am clueless about. I am mad I agree but not with you - with the circumstance in which I find my self.
For what its worth, I think that I am doing the best thing in this particular instance. I simply cannot leave 2 x 11 year olds alone in the house, they are immature and not to be trusted. I would be asking for trouble, no doubt about it. We have no support here and this is one thing I am really angry about when, had things been different, there could have been. So hubby will return home early from work for me to be able to go to college. That way, I wont be panicking and worrying at college.
Yes, I am mad - I am more than mad. I have lots of regrets. I know I am making a balls of everything. I dont need a stranger to tell me that. However, I will go and see if I can get hold of a copy of the book you mention.
Thanks for your reply.
Shirley

Don't be too hard on yourself, i've heard about a lot of bad parents (being a teacher) and you are NOT one of them. The fact that you asked for advice on this proves that you care for your kids. It's best not to leave your children home alone - they would probably be okay but i wouldn't take the chance. Perhaps you could arrange something with your college.