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Is it me?

My 28 month old son is generally charming and eager to please. He is home with me during the day, and on Tues and Thurs mornings he is in a two year old preschool program for three hours. He loves it! It was rough at first but now he adjusted and his teachers say that he is well behaved. But lately I feel that he acts out only in my presence and becomes very angry with me. He is trying to establish some independence, but it can go too far and we butt heads! I am expecting in two months and I hope to resolve these feelings before his sister arrives! HELP!!!

Re: Is it me?

This behaviour is totally normal and age appropriate. It is an age where your child will test the limits and your patience at the same time. Use time out when he plays up, get down to his level look him in the eye and explain why the behaviour is not acceptable.

When using time out, use a boring room in the house, or a spot somewhere or a chair and leave him there for a couple of minutes. Never use his bedroom as he will confuse sleep with punishment. Make sure the spot you choose is boring.

It is also normal for children to misbehave when a baby arrives in the house. To help with the transition, get him involved in preparing for the arrival of the baby, get him to make or choose a gift for the baby and buy a gift from the baby to him. Get him to help when the baby arrives such as fetching a nappy for you or a toy for the baby to play with. Give him as much attention as possible and spend some one on one time with him when you can even if it is just doing some shopping. This will make him feel important.

Good luck.

Re: Re: Is it me?

Thank you for your advice and time!

Re: Is it me?

He is still little enough, that preschool is not necessary!!! Really! Especially that you are expecting, bring him home with you, for the time right before and when new baby come. Expect him to regress a little when new baby arrives.
I reccommend for behavior managment, the spank-free, useful efficient win/win method of "discipline" by Thomas W. Phelan titled 1-2-3 Magic (videos better than book) And most importantly, one thing you have to do as a Mom! That is make sure you are covering all 4 of his primary needs (See; Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs) or he will be a mess. He needs his mommy.

Re: Re: Is it me?

Your sons behaviour does sound quite age appropriate. It is common for kids to act out more with his parents. Ensure you keep the rules simple, clear and above all, consistent. You'll butt head to some extent all your life but consistency in love and discipline will keep the relationship good.

As far as daycare goes -- it sounds to me like you have a great balance, home with you part time and with other kids part time. Children need to socialize with other kids and daycare is a great place for them to do this. They also learn structure and routine which helps prepare them for school. Using drop-in centers are also a great way for social exposure that you can attend together and meet other parents also! Best wishes and congrats on the new baby!