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Hitting out at others

My son will be 4 years old next month, at home his behaviour is very good, if i ask him to do something he does it, if there ever is a time he doesnt listen I will send him to his room for 5 mins when he comes out he is fine.

The problem is when he goes to nursery school he is constantly misbehaving, hitting, scratching, throwing toys at other children all the time, not listening to the teachers and in general just displayin challenging behaviour. We have tried different stratergies, ie time out, take away his toys etc but they do not seem to be working.

My child has never been around any form of domestic violence, I do not allow him to watch fighting movies etc, so i do not see where he has picked this habit up from? It is really beginning to worry me and upset me I am feeling like a bad mother i dont even understand my own child, my friends all tell me he will get better he is just being a boy but the other children do not behave like this, I am currently 5 months pregnant and i know i cant afford to be stressed but it is upsetting me so much.

Does anyone have any idea what I can do to try and stop my son from behaving in this way I have spoken to him he understands that when he does these things they hurt peoples feeling but he carries on anyway.

Has anybody experienced anything like this id so how did u handle it.

Thanks for reading.


Re: Hitting out at others

Forgive me, because I keep posting this same message! In your case, your son is testing his boundaries at school, where the "discipline" method is different, and he knows it!
I keep HIGHLY recommending a video series on encouraging good behavior/managing difficult behavior, that can be bought or borrowed from libraries/school district resources. It is called 1-2-3 Magic by Dr. Thomas W. Phelan. Please just check it out. I used it at home and it worked perfectly! But when my 5 year old strong willed, intelligent child went to kindergarten, He suddenly began bullying there, right after I had the method mastered at home. So I spoke to his teacher and told her what I was using at home. I borrowed the videos from specifically...a woman who worked for our school district, associated with my sons school. Her title was an Early Intervention Specialist from the Area Education Agency. The tape series has one for school teachers to use in their classroom. My sons teacher checked it out, in her spare time. And since then THE SCHOOL HAS IMPLEMENTED THE METHOD, in their classrooms, starting with her classroom!!!
Im not sure you will have the same luck or reception from your sons care facility...BUT, you COULD let them know what you do, that is effective at home, and see how they could try to duplicate that. Like a time out area for him. He could really feel how your rules apply everywhere. He is very young though, and he could just be mad inside, because he would rather spend the time at school, with his mommy.

Re: Re: Hitting out at others

I too have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who, to my knowledge, began hitting and kicking the other children at her learning center (again). She was acting out at her previous daycare and I attributed it to the lack of structure and discipline at that facility, but now she's in a much calmer and structured learning environment which I thought would help. However, it appears that she has taken on the role as the aggressor. She is put in time-out at school but as soon as her time is up, she does it again. I've spoken to my daughter about the incidents and the responses I get to my question - why did you hit so and so, are "because" and "the kids won't leave me alone." I asked her teacher if there was a problem with any of the children and she told me that these last two incidents my daughter initiated. She also indicated that during project time at the table she won't keep her hands off of the other children sitting next to her. I'm at a loss and feel like a failing parent because I don't understand what's going on with her. I sure could use some advice.