i dont know what to do with my partner and 6yr old.they just dont seem to bond even after 3 yrs.my partner tries but my girl doesnt want to know!we also have a 9month old who my 6yr old adores.

You may have already tried this but do they spend much one on one time? Maybe they could do some special things together like visit the zoo, theme park, movies etc. Anything that is really fun. Even fishing or bike riding together just the two of them. It is worth a go.