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11 year old girl going on 17

Can anyone please help. My daughter is 11 years old in July and acts like a moody 17 year old. She shows such a lot of anger and aggression but only seems to take it out on me. She stamps around hitting and kicking things and shouting hurtful things like " I hate you and I am going to get out of this crap house" She even called me a child abuser today because I wouldnt let her go when I was trying to put some eye drops in for her heyfever. She has also told shouted at me that it would be better for everyone if she was not around. Then she calms down and says sorry and wants me to be all fine and nice to her. I dread getting up in the morning and I dread her coming home from school.

Please help

Re: 11 year old girl going on 17

I believe your daughter wants attention, support and direction. She doesn't want to know what not to do. She wants to know what and why she should choose to do things. Focus and communicate on the positive. Find her gift, her talent. Build on her strengths and tie it into life's big picture.
I wrote a book called "The $100,000 Scholarship: Middle School Prep", a New York Times topten lister.

Re: Re: 11 year old girl going on 17

thanks for advice but you write a book, you want to sell a book. I was hoping for some advice from someone in same sort of position. Just how much is your book because I cant access you web site....

Re: 11 year old girl going on 17

I'd check out the book anyway, if you're able. As far as someone being in the same position... well, I've been in a similar one. My younger sister is much like your daughter, and I went through the same things myself.

For the both of us, a lot of our anger came from frustration of being young, not having the freedom we wanted and being under "Mom's Rule". Don't take her harsh words to heart, it's likely that she doesn't realize how much they can hurt. And the fact that she apologizes means that she does care about you.

Try talking to her, not as an authority figure, but just as a companion. Ask her if there's anything she'd like to do or have, any priveleges she feels she deserves. Discuss those things and try to come to a reasonable agreement. Let her know that you don't enjoy the fighting you two go through, and you want to look for alternatives. If she enjoys writing, try giving her a journal to vent her feelings in.

Re: Re: 11 year old girl going on 17

thanks for your reply. I do try to talk to her as a friend as well as a mum but it still seems she snaps at the drop of a hat. I will try the diary idea. She does like writting so it might help.
thanks again