My 4 year old daughter's best friend is in the year below - they are only three months apart but my daughter is an August child. I am worried because my daughter and her friend are inseparable at school (they are in the same class for this year only) and I am concerned that she will not bond with the others in her year because of their dependency on each other. It is of course an "unfair" situation and I understand why they are drawn to each other - they know each other like sisters - but it is reality that after this year they will be in different classes. Has anyone had a child in this situation before? If so, has their child managed to bond with their classmates despite the pull in the different direction? Would appreciate input from anyone who has experienced a similar situation.
Hi Linda,
I used to wory a lot about these issues of friendships in different years... but my experienece is that childrens friendships can be very fluid at this age. It isn't too much of a problem.
My now 8 year old has at times played exclusively with children older than her, and when they moved on, she found different children to play with. She also has a very good friend in the year below. This year, they are in different schools. They play with different children in school. Next year, they will be in the same school and may even be in the same class.... they will play together again I imagine. They too are like sisters at times.
It doesn't really matter within school, if they play with children from different year groups at play time.
There are things you can do to encourage new friendships.... invite different children to tea maybe.
I think if we are relaxed, our children find their own way.
My son was once incredibly reliant on a girl in the year above. I was concerned for him, when she went into yr 3 and changed schools. But a new child came into his class... and my son got on very well with him. I needn't have worried.
The worse thing I ever did was ask my eldest (now 12) every day who she played with. She got fed up with me.... and eventually asked me if that was the only thing I cared about.
So don't worry too much. It's good she has made such a good friend... and that shows you she'll be able to make new friends when she has to, without losing her old friend.
My son is about to change nurseries and he's got a huge crush on a girl in his current one and is all tearful about leaving her (so cute!) but my experience is that young children change freinds very quickly, once ones out of sight a new one comes along, so I'm sure your daughter will mix in just fine.
With my girls, I've seen all of them be close to a couple of kids in nursery, then when they start a new school with new kids even with there old freinds in the same class, they all move on to new ones. So I really wouldn't worry about it, kids change freinds regularly at that age and if she's very dependent on this girl for freindship I'd see it as a healthy thing to widen her circle of freinds.
