Hi:
I'm not sure if this is a normal thing but I've recently noticed negative behaviour in my daughter who is six and a half years old (seven in two months). I don't even know how to explain it. She always looks mad and i've tried talking to her but have had no luck. I know something is going on with her but it seems like I can't get any answers...I'm stumped. In the last two months she started visiting her dad in an access center every other week but before this she only met him a few times in her life. He has been and is a stranger to her and myself. But he is her dad and she wants to see him the only thing is that he is now an instant "God" to her and she is treating me like "The Bad Guy". It wasn't me who dissapeared for six years of her life (just to fill you in, he's been in and out of jail and is currently in rehab), so why is she treating me like an enemy? I try my best to give her positive things to look forward to such as dance, swimming, sports, art galleries, help with homework, baking with me, etc...but find it hard to believe that her boilogical dad can come into her life and at the snap of a pea, she develops an "I DONT CARE" attitude. It is so hurtful. How can I really help my daughter to get that positive friendly attitude back??? I think she's confused and this is bothering me so badly because I feel I'm absolutely helpless, the bond we once had feels broken...but I know there's got to be some sort of way that I can break through to her. Can anyone help me to get my daughter's esteem back in place???

I think it is fairly normal for a child to think the parent they only see from time to time is "god". That parent is usually easier on the child because they just send them back anyhow. In a childs eyes a parent with less rules or that you see only long enough to visit is fun. The parent that doesn't get as much time with the child only wants to have fun with them. In time I believe children realize the truth. As children they don't have the ability to fully understand. Try to discourage the negative behavior with "time out" or having something taken away. But when taking something away only take for that day. The next day starts a clean slate. Maybe she needs to talk to a counselor. This is a big change for her and maybe talking to someone neutral will help her. Hope this is some help.
I have had many difficult experiences with kids as I have 2 teenage girls of my own and a teenage stepson and a 16 year old step daughter. I have gone through a divorce and delt with my step sons far from perfect life at his moms. I'm not perfect myself, but have more than my share of experiences to lend a helping hand. I hope to help someone else with what I have learned and struggled with. Good luck!

Hi america, I get the perfect daddy and mean mummy thing from my son too and yes it hurts. BUT! its easy being a part time parent with people watching over you at a contact centre, if he can find a situation under those circumstances where he has to be any less than good, fun dad then he needs to take a serious look at himself. Meanwhile at home we have to do the dirty deeds as well as the good ones, so we get to be the baddies at times. Even though its affecting you atm, remember its a good thing that dads so wonderful in her eyes, after all you wouldn't want her to have to face a father that is useless and have it be her thats hurting instead. Its all new and exciting to her atm but I can tell you from experience kids get bored of contact centres, they question why they need supervision and can't go to mcdonalds with dad, time will make her see things more realistically. Kids tend to lash out at the people they love and trust so don't take it personally.