My daughter lied to her teacher and to us. We found out after calling her teacher. Lately she has tried to get away with little lies and nothing has work for discipline. So after this big lie, we took her out of gymnastics and said we would consider signing her up again next year. (she loves gymnastics and has been in it since she was 2) Also, we took away swimming lessons which she also loves. In addition, I said I was selling our Disney on Ice tickets and she has to be to bed every night at 8pm regardless if there is school the next day.
I have since thought this all may have been a bit harsh. Would we be ineffective in our discipline if I didn't sell the Disney on Ice tickets? It is in two weeks. Also, my husband and I agreed (without telling our daughter) we would discuss gymnastics again in September.
The punishment may seem harsh but nothing else has worked. She is a very good kid but the little lies keep building until this final one. Also, she was warned she would lose gymnastics if this behavior continued. I don't think she believed us so that one is something we will have to stick with. Like I said, a year is a bit much and my husband and I will revisit it again in September. (She doesn't know it but I was going to have her skip the summer gymnastics sessions anyways.)
I think none of this will work and it will only hurt your daughter. Have you study/read any parenting books? You must. Learn parenting. Don't assume you know. I read a great article on why children lie. Your daughter has a good reason to lie. You must find the reason and eliminate it. The root of needing to lie is feeling unsafe to tell the truth. Punishment creates fear and fear is the reason to lie.
Instead of punishing her even more, find out why she needs to lie. Read, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves. Read also Unconditional Parenting and Your Competent Child. These books will teach you how to have a daughter who behaves well because she wants to, not because she fears punishment.
As I said, learn how to be a parents from classes, books, tapes... look for how to raise your daughter without even needing punishment. I do it with my two boys who were a storm of aggression until I learned ways that are so much more effective, loving, kind and now my boys behave so great, because they want to.
Good job on making a descison and sticking with it. So many people will tell their kids "I'm going to give your toys to the homeless kids" and then they just hide them, only to give them back a week later. Kids have to learn action and consequence. If you try hard, do good work and scuh, chances are that you'll get a raise or promotion later on in life. You slack off, lie, don't show up, chances are you'll get fired. Kiddo's need to learn that and if you have found a method that works, then stick with it!
As far as punishment goes, this is what finally worked for us. First of all we used "time out" (our kids are 13,13,&14 & we still use it). We find a place of our choice and make them sit, don't argue with them (walk away if you can't help it), this gives everyone time to cool down. The other thing we did that worked the best was punishment only for a day at a time. I'll tell ya this was easier for me to follow through with. Discuss with your child what behavior is not allowed and what wil happen if you see that behavior. Then when that behavior happens Take away something for that day only. The next day your child will start out fresh. Again any misbehavior gets something taken away for that day. This way they see an end to the punishment. For us we used tv, video games, and playing with friends. When it got really bad we added on Sports practise. When my step son was mouthy, bad in school, disrespectful, or didn't do/have his homework he lost all those privlages. If it continued he missed sports practise that day. He could watch tv, but only if and what someone else watched. And he could play out side or with his toys, but it had to be alone (no friends). Now he is mostly good, and when he's not he says "I know I can't play my games".
