hi, I have a beautiful eight year old daughter who is my whole world and I love her very much- but I am absolutely at the end of my tether. She refuses to sleep out at relatives- including her fathers who i am no longer with. I have a two hour break every week(which i usually spend ironing!) Even when I have been out at work all day,she demands that she has her friends in the house and i find myself agreeing just because I am so tired to argue. She screams at me,refuses to do things for herself and has on occasion hit me. I feel like I could just walk away-its getting to the point where I hate coming home! But sometimes she is so sweet, and she always apologises for her bad behaviour-but unfortunetly it doesn't stop her from doing all of the above again and again. i am sure that i am to blame somewhere along the line- i feel like such a failure and that my situation will never improve. As a single parent I am shouldering all the above by myself- and i can't even start to think of starting a new relationship while this is going on.
A child of a single mother is specially anxious about being abandoned. That's natural. So it is natural that she wouldn't want to sleep away from you. Actully, one of my children wouldn't sleep away from me either and he is much older already. It is fine in terms of her.
So, it is your need for a break that is the issue. I think life with your daughter will be much easier if you let her be and respect her preferences. Then you won't feel a need for a break because you will have a good time with her. You can get a relative or a friend to come by for a visit and take some of the load off, but overall, she is too young to have to care for your needs and give up on hers for your sake. She shouldn't sleep away from you because she is obviously not ready.
Read a good parenting book about the value of respecting and trusting the needs of Children. Raising Our Chidlren, Raising Ourselves, is my favorite. But there are others like, Kids are Worth it, Unconditional Parenting, Your Competent Child etc. Learn learn learn. We are not born knowing to parent. Dont' blame yourself, yet do learn and apply kind parenting.
